One can lie to the entire world but even then, a mirror won't lie.
Right now I am still reading The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. I have just read to the part where Mr. Harvey, the murderer of Susie and many other women, is starting to have his memories of past murders catch up to him. Previously seen, Mr. Harvey seemed to be able to keep these memories at bay but now, he is no longer able to. This idea that the memories of things that he did that were buried for so long could still resurface, intrigued me and that is what I will be blogging about today. How, even if the entire world sees a lie, the hardest one to fool is one's own self.
Mr. Harvey did actually quite a good job with keeping memories of his murders away. Killing so many women yet still being able to continue living normally (or normal for him) for so long is rather "amazing" (in a bad way that is). Still though, after so many years of not minding the horrible things he did, those things have come back to haunt him. It is his own fault really, killing people and then also thinking that he could get away with it. In fact he did technically, but the truth was that his mind, did not. Now though, there's no turning back from this rewind of episodes in his mind that he most definitely deserves to watch.
I am always amazed at those who believe that they can lie to themselves. Or perhaps not amazed but amused. Of course, there are people who can accomplish this but a very large portion of the world cannot. I do not understand though the point of why one would lie to themselves. Just because one denies doing something or even successfully forgets it, that doesn't mean they didn't do it. Even if no one remembered an event, the mark it leaves will still be there. An action done cannot be erased for someone or "something" will always know of it no matter how well it is hidden.
It is actually very scary that some people have gotten to the point where they themselves cannot stand what they did. How strong a rage or hate must be to cause one to commit something so horrible that it is worth forgetting to the person them self. That it is so morally wrong that even their own mind would not approve of such actions. How is it possible that one can choose to do something that even they them self is disgusted with and wants to forget? And the worst part is that perhaps it isn't "how is it possible", but "why must it be".
I suppose that no one wants to live a life in the horrors of one's own actions so why some people still do or choose to will always be a mystery to me. What I do know though is that I will not be one of those people.
Wonderful post!
ReplyDeleteI slightly agree and slightly disagree with your views on lying to one's self. I definitely agree with the fact that "Just because one denies doing something or even successfully forgets it, that doesn't mean they didn't do it." We can tell ourselves that we didn't do something and believe it, but it is still there, lurking in the shadows until something makes it pop back out. What I don't agree with, however, is what you said about finding it amusing when people believe they can lie to themselves. I wrote about this too, and I think that everyone lies to themselves all the time, even if it is the teensiest lie you could think of. And when people lie to themselves on a large scale, I find it alarming rather than amusing. They have disconnected themselves from the world, and are living life ignoring people and things. Lying to one's self is almost a form of insanity in my mind!
Again, great post (even though we disagree on some views)! Your writing is as strong as ever.
~Adrian.